Polyamory Newsletter, January, 2005   Volume I
Published by Janet Kira Lessin, Chief Executive Officer, World Polyamory Association and Sasha (Alex) Lessin, Ph.D.
808 244-4103 email: WorldPolyamory@aol.com
site: http://www.worldpolyamoryassociation.com
link: http://schooloftantra.com/Newletters/Polyamory/polyamory_december2004Vol1.htm

Contents of this Polyamory Newsletter
1.  TRYING TRIAD AGAIN --Article by Janet Kira Lessin

2.  TO WHAT DO YOU COMMIT?  Guided meditation for 2005 by Sasha Lessin

3. RETURN TO THE TRIBE: 6-Day Poly Community, Orange Springs, Fla,  April 20 - 26, 2005

4. HARBIN HOT SPRINGS, POLY CONFERENCE: JUNE 17-19, 2005

5. POLYAMORY CONNECTION: Poly Dating, Educational Support Group, Maui 

6. BIJA BLISS BONDING - Tantra Energy Exchange Exercise (To Do with a Lover) by Sasha Lessin

 

1.   TRYING TRIAD AGAIN by Janet Kira Lessin 

SHIVAYA, JANET KIRA & SASHA RESTART 

Third time's a charm. Twice last year my husband, Sasha and I began and ended with Shivaya. New Year's Day we started anew. What magic makes a triad charming? How can we keep it together? 

We parted this day with tender kisses. Shivaya went back to his place. He wants to move in with us. My dyad's solid with rocky moments. What makes the cosmic egg crack? Do I dare allow yet another man into the mix? Will a third upset the apple cart? Will opening my heart, mind and soul be too much, too overwhelming that I destroy all I've worked so hard to create?. 

Attitude of gratitude. Appreciate what you've got, don't sweat what you've not. We start anew with a new perspective. There's magic in our joining. Our bodies respond to one another like soul mates from many lifetimes. But what is it that repels us after such deep connecting? Last time, when we went so deep that next morning, too open, we ran away from one another like frightened children. 

JESTER: A MAN-FRIEND WITH OUR MFM TRIAD 

Attraction, repulsion. What has come before, gone into our personal mix that makes us like one thing and not like another? At the reunion of our triad, we had a fourth participant. Why was he there? I can't quite remember who invited whom. I like Jester, but try as I may, I can't grok him completely. 

I spoke my personal truth to Jester, stated that I was not attracted, didn't want him to touch me, at least not intimately. He felt hurt, upset that I was not attracted to him sexually. Sure, I like Jester (Oh, I said that).  But there's something about him that I can't connect with.  Though Jester was ok, willing to just witness us and not jump into our lovemaking,  I cringed telling him I wasn't sexually turned-onto him.  After I said that, I wracked myself with guilt for having "hurt" him by speaking my truth?  Where's personal responsibility? 

Should I stuff what I think and feel and do sexual things I really don't want to do?  I tell myself, "No.  No shoulds. You learned that one long ago", I tell myself, consoling my Inner Child who whimpers ever so softly. "Pleasers never win."  But what do I do with Jester's pain, my guilt? Am I eternally bond to feel such remorse?  How do minds meet? And what exactly does it mean to have a "meeting of the minds?" I seek connection with other and yet sometimes, try as I may, I lack the inroads into the mind that spark that connection.  Is it something from the past?  Does Jester and others from whom I feel repelled remind me of someone somewhere in time, unconscious memories that send me reeling as far away as possible? 

HOPES TO MAKE TRIAD LAST

Back to Shivaya.  Can he be "the other one?"  I already have one "the one," Sash, but can Shivaya be "the other one?"  Hubby Sasha and I want our third.  We're full, complete in our dyadic oneness.  We seek a third not from lack or need, but from fullness.  Our love-cup overflows.  We want another lover in our unity consciousness.  The experiment to connect with other lovers, a third first, then perhaps more, compel us to keep "trying."

But "trying" is lying.  We have to actually enter into sexualloving with other people, not just "try".  "Wanting," a triad like "trying"  to create one is also contrafactual; "wanting" a threesome keeps the possibility of one ever elusive, always in the future. We need to just experience three in love.

For this now, this moment, Sasha, Shivaya and I are a triad.  Will it last?  Can it be forever?  What trials and tribulations, ups and downs may we experience?  Are all outcomes "all good?"  I choose to have no expectations, but so far, relating with both Shivaya and Sasha's a piece of cake.  I'm open for what the 'morrow brings.  2005, glad to be alive.

I've been actively polyamorous since 1991. I've not yet created a long-term polyamorous, live-in committed relationship, though I have created long-term poly relations with lovers who don't live with us.  I have one primary partner, my husband Sasha, with whom I've been in true, committed partnership since 1997.  Sash and I are very loyal, devoted, committed to one another, totally in love.  We're also extremely passionate, dynamic, energetic and expressive.  We started our relationship at a polyamory conference.  Polyamory's always been our goal.  We're committed to the lifestyle, to relationship choice.  

However, polyamory's not easy.  We've had many friendships, relationships and intimate connections, far too many for my feeble memory to keep track of.  However tempted as I am at times to give up, I'm stubborn and remain firm on the poly path. 

Polyamory's a viable option for humanity.  I've had a hard time finding lasting relationships with others, though I've had several poly relationships that worked quite delightfully for many years.  Maybe my difficulties in finding enduring loves (besides Sash) are a result of my cultural conditioning and programming.  Or maybe living on Maui, one of the most expensive places on the planet has made it hard for anyone suitable–bi, given to emotional processing, able to pay their own way--to join us.  Or maybe I'm just too obnoxious for anyone to take for very long.  I'm not certain.  I can only laugh and throw up my hands.  

One thing for sure, I've made a lot of friends with polyamory.  I've made far more friends than I've lost coming out of the poly closet.  Many love me and I love them.  Our hearts know love.  Our ego's are often confused.  We may not be able to live together, but we sure have created a lot of interesting memories.  What a rich life.  Yeah polyamory.  I think I'll keep on being just who I am.
*******************

2.  TO WHAT DO YOU COMMIT?  Guided meditation for 2005 by Sasha Lessin

Review the Chapters of Your Life, helps you see where you've been, what you learned and where you're headed. You review your life's chapters, discover and reinforce the warp, woof and golden threads of your life fabric. Re-assess possibilities you declined and consider bringing them into what you weave today.

Draw Your Lifemap, Purge Negativities, Embrace Positivities In this seminar, you purge programs and attitudes that block your heart's desires. Then you celebrate your blessings, successes, strengths, gifts and inspirations.

Write Your Lifeplan, Affirm Commitments
 - Make your commitments and write your goals for next year and years to come. Then--on-purpose, wiser and renewed--flow to your next adventure. Guide a oartner through the Life Chapters review of her or his life.

Reading: Progoff, I.  1975, At a Journal Workshop, NY: Dialogue House, the inspiration for the life chapter explorations.

Warmup: FIND YOUR PURPOSE

Get a large piece of paper and crayons.

Close your eyes.

See the landscape of your life, the roads taken, roadblocks, detours. View the regions--physical, emotional, social and spiritual--you traveled.

Imagine yourself at the base of a mountain peak that stands for your highest purpose.

Your experiences have prepared you to climb the mountain, fulfill your missions, find the meaning of your life, meet your destiny.

You'll create a score or more great things as you ascend. Only you can climb this path, achieve these creations. Look up the trail and see these creations.

Draw your life-path. Show your past, present and future. Show the influences affecting your ascent. Identify regions, travel conditions and destinations.

Put your drawing on the wall and look at it daily for a week.

THE PRESENT ERA:

Visualize, feel your emotions toward, and list the names of PEOPLE and animals important in this chapter of your life. Then write a sentence or so after each name, saying how you get along the person named.

After each name, note ANGER, QUARRELS, FIGHTS, LOVING, SEXUAL or other intense feelings with each of the people on your list.

EXPRESS unfinished feelings--withheld expression, misunderstood messages, unexpressed resentments, longing, appreciation, wishes--as a note to three people on your list.

Put a star next to the names of the PEOPLE WHO INSPIRED you.

Visualize a SYMBOL of the emotional quality of your current existence. Sketch what you get.

Finish: "My life recently's been like ."

How have you done at your WORK?

On what projects do you work? How do you feel about these projects?

Describe any good or bad LUCK you had this era.

What SOCIAL and POLITICAL activities were important to you this era?

Describe your HEALTH, exercise, eating and substance practices this era and especially this year.

What books, workshops or other WISDOM sources inspired you throughout this period?

What INNER EXPERIENCES did you have and what did they teach you?

Note any particularly meaningful dreams, visions, or  IMAGES you got during this period.

Note your artistic, spiritual, meditative or therapeutic BREAKTHROUGHS.

Imagine you lean over a pool of muddy water, symbolic of the events of this current era of your life. As you watch, mud settles. Let images clarify in the pool. See, hear, feel, intuit and record the images. Note the MEANINGS of your images.

Relate five THINGS YOU LEARNED this era and the present chapter of your life.

READ your Table of Life Contents and Chapter Summaries to a friend and have him or her read you his or hers.  

LIFE CHAPTERS: Contemplate your entire life, your journey from conception till now.  Write a Table of Contents listing 8-12 chapters of your life, from your earliest memories till now. Give each chapter a concise, descriptive label. For each chapter, jot your age through the period (eg: age 13-16).

COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS

What are your TREASURES?

How are you FORTUNATE?

What do you APPRECIATE?

What do you ENJOY?

SEE YOUR SUCCESSES:  Acknowledge your successes and feel your self-confidence grow.
    Record your successes and accomplishments THIS YEAR.
    List your successes so far IN LIFE.
   
Read your list to a friend and find out your friend's successes.

ASSESS AND ACCESS  YOUR STRENGTHS: The more you like yourself, the more you prosper, the more you contribute to humanity.
    C
omplete the following: "My good points and strengths are: ...
   
"If I made the most of one of my strong points, I might get the following results: ...
   
Imagine and describe your life A YEAR from now if you were to let one or more of your good points guide you
   
What do you imagine 5 YEARS from now, when the strength develops further?

GIVE  When you give, you express and enjoy more. You feel more fortunate. When you help someone in certain way, you grow in that way too.
   
List PEOPLE, PROJECTS AND CHARITIES YOU SUPPORT. After each, note what you'll give.

INSPIRATIONS Review, then write your inspirations.

What FASCINATES me is ...

My MISSIONS and callings are ...

My PURPOSE in life is ...

I commit myself to understand and live by these PRINCIPLES ..."

GOALS:

BEFORE I DIE, I intend to ..
By this day, 20 YEARS from now, I aim to ...
10
years from now, I'll ...
The next 5 years, I reckon I'll ...
Next 2 years, my goals are ...
THIS YEAR, I'll ...
I aim, the NEXT 6 MONTHS, to ...
My goals, NEXT TWO MONTHS: ...
THIS MONTH, I'll ...
I intend, THIS WEEK to accomplish ...
My projects TOMORROW are ..
TODAY
I'll ...

RIGHT NOW
I'M ...

read your goals and purposes to a friend. Sign the commitment contract and have your friend sign as witness.

I FULLY COMMIT MYSELF TO ACHIEVE THE GOALS AND PURPOSES I WROTE ON THESE PAGES IN SATISFYING, HARMONIOUS AND ETHICAL WAYS.

Signed .


************************

36-DAY POLY COMMUNITY, ORANGE SPRINGS, FLORIDA, April 20 - 26, 2005

The World Polyamory Association's Southeast Conference, Return To The Tribe: A Weeklong Polyamorous Community will be at Orange Springs Retreat Center, Orange Springs, FL in Central Florida.  

Co-create The World Polyamory Association's Southeast Conference, Return To The Tribe, a six-day experiential Polyamorous Community at Orange Springs Retreat, Central Florida. Together, we enjoy interactive workshops on kind, authentic communication, pair-bonding, romantic love, multiple-partner sexuality and choreographing the dance of poly loving.

Participate in discussions and playshops on community building and maintenance, jealousy management, compersion, coming out, bisexuality, poly rights and polyamous childrearing challenges. Network, party, play, exchange massages, practice tantra and attend daily yoga classes.

Each day, Return to the Tribe begins, for early risers, with Sasha Lessin’s yoga and meditation class.  The first day, Monday, April 20, we join small (6 -12 person) groups (pods). Our pod support us getting what we want at the conference and in life.  Each morning, after yoga and breakfast, our pods meet and we each talk with our pod mates about what we're learn about poly loving.  Then, till 1PM, we enjoy Part 1 of the main interactive presentation of the day. 

After our pods meet Monday, Voice Dialogue facilitators Dr. Sasha and Janet Kira Lessin lead Choreographing Your Inner Voices in Polyamorous Life, a powerful exploration of the subselves within us that influence how we do poly.  Then we eat lunch and shmooze, snooze or make love till 3 PM. 

After lunch, we return for Part 2 of the day’s community experience; the first day, we return for the second part of the Lessins'  Voice Dialogue presentation and learn how our inner voices interact with those of our poly partners, sour, and can be re-sweetened by sharing our vulnerabilities and embracing within us underdeveloped subselves our partners exhibit in soured communication. 

Evenings after dinner at "Return to the Tribe" involve fun, play, dance, ceremonies, celebrations and opportunities for connecting.  When the afternoon experience concludes, we dine and, after dinner, the same presenter, or another presenter (or entertainer), leads a joyous movement experience, guided massage or tantra ritual.

Each day at "Return to the Tribe" we experiment in aspects of polyamous living, compassionate and effective communication, coming out to non-polys, raising polys' kids in the uptight world, multiperson tantra, sharing resources and tasks, live-in partner protection, and more.  We move from experience to experience together, in plenary sessions orchestrated to build community.

 After a week of immersing ourselves in the process, with love, warm fuzzies and fun, we experience the possibilities of a poly-friendly world that works

Presenters so far include Dave Doleshal, Harold Hari Das Kornylak and Sasha and Janet Kira Lessin,

Drive forty minutes to Orange Springs from Ocala and Gainesville and ninety minutes from Tampa, Orlando and Jacksonville. The Orange Springs center embraces 100 acres of hills edging Ocala National Forest. Cabins here--mostly doubles–share a bathroom. Some private rooms are also available.

     We're currently seeking presenters for this conference.  If you're interested in being a presenter, fill out our PRESENTER'S APPLICATION
 

$465 until Feb.1, includes accommodations and meals: http://www.worldpolyamoryassociation.com/conferences/OrangeSpringsFL2005/orange_springs_accommodations.html
For more information: http://www.worldpolyamoryassociation.com/conferences/OrangeSpringsFL2005/orange_springs_index.html
To register:  http://www.worldpolyamoryassociation.com/forms/OrangeSprings2005/orange_springs_registration_form.html
 Register now and save. Prices go up each month.

4. HARBIN HOT SPRINGS, POLY CONFERENCE: JUNE 17-19, 2005

The World Polyamory Association's Northern California Conference, Celebrate Relationship Choice, will be at Harbin Hot Springs, CA (June 17-19, 2005) in Middleton, located about two hours from both San Francisco and Sacramento.  Harbin's located on 1200 acres of beautiful canyon land. It offers natural healing waters (hot, warm and cold pools), miles of hiking trails, and a variety of workshops, classes and events every week.  Harbin is a clothes-optional facility.

The Harbin poly conference includes interactive workshops on pair bonding, romantic love, multiple-partner sexuality and choreographing the dance of poly loving. There will be panel discussions, jealousy management experiments, opportunities for networking, a fun party and a many opportunities to experience living compersion–empathy for others' love-joy.  Participants will move from experience to experience together, in plenary sessions orchestrated to build community.

For More Information:  http://www.worldpolyamoryassociation.com/conferences/HarbinHotSprings2005/harbin_hot_springs_index.html
Discounted price of $255 includes meals and tent/seminar space accommodations: http://www.worldpolyamoryassociation.com/forms/Harbin2005/harbin_registration_form.html
Register now and save. Prices go up each month.

5. POLYAMORY CONNECTION: POLY DATING, EDUCATIONAL SUPPORT GROUP, MAUI 

POLYAMORY CONNECTION is an ongoing poly dating club, support group and  interactive relationship class on polyamory (contemporaneously loving more than one in intimate, candid relationships).  For more information:  http://schooloftantra.com/Groups/PolyamoryConnection/PolyamoryConnection.htm

ONLINE POLY LINKS, DATING SITE, FORUM, PERSONALS, DISCUSSION GROUPS

Click http://www.worldpolyamoryassociation.com/ and enter WPA's world of poly links, dating data, forum, personals, discussion groups.
 
LINKS: We post your link, you post WPA's; we all rise in Search Engine Consciousness. Submit yours to us at file:///C:/Alex/Polyamory/Links/submit_your_site.html 
FORUM: Propose and discuss subjects of poly interest http://worldpolyamoryassociation.com/forum.html
PERSONALS Say Who You Are and What You Seek file:///C:/Alex/Polyamory/personals.html 
POLY EVENTS file:///C:/Alex/Polyamory/events.html
*************************

6.  BIJA BLISS BONDING Tantra Energy Exchange Exercise to Do with a Lover by Sasha Lessin

Nude, Shiva-man and Shakti-woman, sit on cushions (or edge of a bed) facing each other. Shakti, drape your legs over Shiva’s thighs; bring your feet together behind his tailbone. Press his wand (soft or stiff) to your yoni drapes or pearl, or into your sacred space.

Shakti and Shiva, rest your left hands on each others’ lower back; right, behind your lover’s heart. Together, you’ll chant and, as you do, waken each of your energy centers, your chakras.

In one voice, you’ll CHANT THE NAMES OF THE CHAKRAS, in a chant known as the Bija Mantra. You chant each chakra name (Lam, Yam, Ram, Yam, Ham, Ooo, and Mmm) three times each. Beam energy from each name you chant to your partner’s corresponding chakra.

Lam: Together, chant "Lam" three times.  Feel the energy at the bottom of your spine.  Align this perennial (base, root) chakra energy with your sweetheart's. Exchange energy from your Lam chakras.  Send your beloved pictures and feelings of safety, health and security as you exhale three loud "Lam"s.  Receive your partner’s "Lam" vibrations when you inhale.

Vam: Rock your genitals gently against each other. Think of the most sexually and sensually pleasant experiences you’ve had with each other. Chant "Vam" three times together as you focus on the sensations and emotions as you caress through eyes and genitals, wishing one another sensual fulfillment.

Ram: Push your navels together, feel your own power, send empowering images and encouraging thoughts out your solar plexuses to each others’.

Yam: Chant "Yam" three times as you share heart light, love and courage.

Ham: As you open your throats, chant "Ham" three times in unison, wishing each other authentic expression and joyous song, committing, with each "Ham" to listen kindly and actively to teach other.

Ooo: Join your foreheads and look into each others’ eyes until your partner’s two eyes converge visually into a single eye. Imagine a pastlife your partner might have had. Imagine how they might be if they became their very best for the next decade. Then chant "Ooo" three times. As you "Ooo", wish your partner clarity, intuition and creativity.

Mmm: Imagine you stream energy between your crown and your beloved's. Imagine your minds meld into a synergistic mutual mind. Then transcend your personal pairing and merge with pastlife lovers, the lover archetype, the loving force in the Universe.

Three times now, on a single exhale each time, chant the entire Bija Mantra together, "Lam, Vam, Ram, Yam, Ham, Ooo, Mmm." Imagine your energies join in ever more refined auric bodies.

5.  GROUPS, SEMINARS, EVENTS & CLASSES IN MAUI, HAWAII
Click here for January 2005 schedule: http://www.schooloftantra.com/Schedule/2005/January2005.htm

Click here for our complete schedule: http://www.schooloftantra.com/Schedule/schedule.htm

Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday

SCHOOL OF TANTRA - January 2005
AE - Alien Encounters: Breaking the Godspell, CSS - Celebrate Sacred Sexuality
CTT - Tantra School : Level 1 - Certified Tantra Practitioner, CT - Club Tantra, H - Holotropic Breathwork, JT - Journey to Tomorrow
PC - Polyamory Connection, M - Mingles for Singles, T - Theopathy, TC - Tantra Connection, V - Voice Dialogue, Y - Yoga

     

 
8-9:30 AM - Y
10 AM - JT

7 PM - CT
2
9:30 AM  - T  
3
4
5
5:30 - 7PM - Y
6



7 PM - M

8-9:30 AM - Y
1 PM - PC
7 PM - CT
9
9:30 AM  - T
 


10 

 

11 
6:30 PM - AE
12 
5:30 - 7PM - Y
13 
14 
7 PM - TC
15 
8-9:30 AM - Y
9AM - 5PM 
CSS
7 PM - CT
16
9:30 AM  - T 
11AM - 6PM 
CSS
17 
9AM - 5PM 
CTT
18 
9AM - 5PM 
CTT
19 
9AM - 5PM 
CTT
5:30 - 7PM - Y
20 
9AM - 5PM 
CTT
21 
9AM - 5PM 
CTT
7PM - M
22 
ALL DAY: CTT
8-9:30 AM - Y
10 AM - HB

7 PM - CT
23
9:30 AM  - T 
24
25
6:30 PM - VD
26
5:30 - 7PM - Y
27 28
7 PM - M
29
8-9:30 AM - Y
1 PM - PC 7 PM - CT
30
9:30 AM  - T 
31          

POLYAMORY, TANTRA, PEACE
World Polyamory Association
, School of Tantra, World Peace Association, World Tantra Association

Sasha Lessin, Ph. D. & Janet Kira Lessin

1371 Malaihi Road
Wailuku, Maui, HI 96793
808-244-4103
sashalessinphd@aol.com
, janetkiralessin@aol.com, WorldPolyamory@aol.com, SchoolofTantra@aol.com, WorldPeaceAssoc@aol.com, WorldTantraAssoc@aol.com